Another trite title. Can't resist. They are too easy.
June 16, 1988: Part III
I meant to write about one of the most significant parts of our agency visit in my previous post. If we wanted to do so, we were able to read our personal file that contained our adoption paperwork. I believe that the policy for our particular agency is that the adoptee must be at least 17 years old before s/he can read their file. I'm not completely sure about this, and let me know if you know of anything different.
Many of us already knew our story and there wasn't any new, meaningful information. For the majority of adoptees on this trip, we were abandoned and our biological parents did not personally relinquish us to the agency and therefore, they were not present during the intake. That said, the details that might offer more about our early lives were nonexistent.
For a couple of people, they were able to learn more about their background than what they knew prior to the trip. Their biological families were present at the intake and their files had information that was meant to be confidential until the adoptee was old enough to request it. Such information contained names, ages, siblings and the circumstances under which they were placed for adoption.
I remember that one adoptee learned that his bio-parents stated in the file that they agreed to be contacted if their son ever requested. He found out that they lived in a rural area and wanted to meet them. The agency organized the visit to take place a few days later and along with an interpreter, he went to his Korean parents home.
On the day that he left to meet his bio-family, my roommates and I kept talking about him throughout the day. We were curious to know where he was, what was being said, etc.... He left early in the morning and didn't return until late at night. The day after his trip, he shared that his biological parents were quite a bit older and that he had siblings who were both older and younger than him. Of course, this was a lot to process and it was clear that it had a huge impact on him as he was quite self-reflective throughout the duration of the trip.
Seoul Time
2 comments:
I totally remember that guy reuniting with his family. Wasn't he the big guy with a baby face? And wasn't he adopted when we was 4or 5, or at least old enough to remember his parents? I actually think about him every once in a while. The more I get in touch with my "adoption emotions" the more I realize the enormous importance and impact of the moment. If it happened to me, I have no idea how I'd handle it. Would I be ecstatic, depressed, confused, angry, joyful? Probably all of the above.
I'm glad that you remember, too. Sometimes, I wonder how reliable my memory is! He wasn't the big guy w/the baby face, that was JoJo. He was shorter and wore glasses. Remember what a shock it was to learn that his parents were almost elderly and that they kept siblings who were both older and younger than he was?
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