Sung Ro Won Orphanage

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June 23, 1988

Back in Seoul from our road trip, we had a few more days to visit more points of interest. In addition, these days were set aside so that some of the adoptees could visit the location of the orphanage or home where they lived before being placed with our adoption agency and ultimately matched with their adoptive families.
Since I was in foster care, I did not ever live in a group home. So, I decided to go with a few of the adoptees (2 of which were my roommates) who lived at one of the group homes that is a partner of our agency, the Sung Ro Won Orphanage. The Sung Ro Won home is still in existence today.

The orphanage is a 2 story brick building with an outdoor play area. There are rooms for infants and rooms for older children. There is also a large room that looks like a pre-school classroom. When we arrived, we were met by the director of the home and a few of the care givers. They were so gracious and happy for our visit. We toured the home and got to hold the babies and play with the children. It was just amazing that these sweet, beautiful children did not have families.

For a few of the members of our trip who lived at the orphanage, this, of course, was the first return visit to the place where their lives in Korea came to an end. The director at the time, Mr. Kim, was the director when the adoptees on our trip were residents. This was quite special for them to meet someone who "knew" them in Korea.

Mr. Kim took my fellow adoptees into his office. The orphanage kept meticulous documentation of the children who lived there. He pulled out photo albums that had pictures of them at the Sung Ro Won home in the early 1970s. My roommates saw pictures of themselves that they had not seen until this visit. Towards the end of this private meeting, Mr. Kim presented each adoptee with a hanbok which is a traditional Korean dress. I have photos of them on the steps of the Sung Ro Won home in their hanboks with Mr. Kim. This day visit turned out to be quite emotional and certainly very special.

Busan (Pusan)

One of the beaches in Pusan
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June 19, 1988

We spent a relaxing day in Pusan. Pusan is Korea's 2nd largest city (and Korea's largest port city) which is located on the south/southeast corner of the Korean peninsula. In fact, you can take a ferry to Japan from Pusan. You will also find that Pusan has great beaches and is very cosmopolitan. I remember walking on the beach and eating a great lunch in Pusan. I even believe that we had really good Korean BBQ. For me, I seem to remember what I ate for various meals throughout my life. It is probably useless information for the majority of the time, but for this trip, I'm glad that I remembered!

We didn't have any organized tours and it was a great day to get to know more of our fellow travelers. After a long lunch, we walked along the beach and checked out the local businesses. Actually, a few group members were born in Pusan so this was a meaningful day for them.

Although some of the adoptees had very traumatic and sad stories of abandonment, it appeared that most of the adoptees on this tour left Korea as infants and were very well adjusted. On the surface, everyone seemed happy and I was able to relate. Not only did we share similar adoption stories, but we grew up in similar settings. If I recall correctly, it seemed like at least half of this group was from the Midwest and all of us had siblings. Most of the time, our discussions were pretty mundane, but there was this common thread that made these conversations comfortable. It was a time that many of us found a unique acceptance and belonging.

Getting to know my roommates

Hotel Concorde, Kyongju
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June 17, 1988: Con't.

After leaving the Korean Folk Village, we headed to Kyongju (or Gyeongju) which is located in the southeastern part of the country. This is one of Korea's popular cities for tourists and was the capital of the Silla (or Shilla) Kingdom for over 1,000 years. That said, there are many historic buildings and temples to tour and this was on the itinerary for the following day. I was excited to visit other areas of Korea and looked forward to more sight seeing.

We arrived at Kyongju and checked into a hotel. In '88, it was the Kyongju Tokyuu Hotel and now it is the Concorde Hotel Kyongju (I think). We were just excited that we were in a new location and it seemed like it would be a good setting for socializing. By this time, we were together for a few days and started to feel more comfortable with each other.

After dinner, most of us went to check out the discotheque also known as the little smoke filled room with a dance floor. Even then, it seemed dated and a bit garish. That didn't stop us from checking out the locals and listening to American pop songs sung in Korean. I faintly remember a couple of Village People songs in Korean. Anway, the novelty wore off and my roommates and I decided that we wanted to leave.

The four of us returned to our two rooms and decided to hang out for a while. Our conversation started off with mundane topics and then, we began to question each other about our pre-adoption circumstances at a deeper level than any previous discussions. Naively, I thought that everyone had the same experience that I did.

Digress for a second. Being adopted as an infant, I didn't really have any major issues or certainly didn't have any memories of living in Korea. I only learned that I was adopted when I noticed that other kids at pre-school looked like their parents. On the way home one day from pre-school, I told my dad that the other kids looked like their mommies or daddies, and I wanted to know why I didn't. He said something to this effect, "Well, sometimes there are mommies and daddies who have babies and they might not be able to provide for their babies. They want them to have a better life than what they can offer, so they give their babies up for adoption." He continued to explain adoption and told me about Korea, etc.. It was an age-appropriate response that made sense to me. I will always remember this conversation.

So, back to June 17. Like I said earlier, I operated under the assumption that everyone was adopted as an infant and no one had any memories of living in Korea before their "new" lives in the U.S. Well, I was wrong.

One of my roommates began to tell her story with the fact that she was 4 when she was adopted. She said that her (bio)parents abandoned her and her younger sister at a train station in Seoul. (I have learned that this was a common scenario.) She remembers walking around while holding her sister's hand and crying out for her parents. She said that her sister had a dirty diaper and she didn't know what to do in addition to the fact that they were both extremely scared. After roaming around for a few hours, someone approached them and took them to a police officer. The police officer took her and her sister to the police station and they waited there for a long time. She said that she even remembers that a policeman gave them ice cream. The next thing that she recalled was that they were sent to a group living home or an orphanage. Luckily, they didn't live there for very long. A family from the Midwest adopted her and her sister.

I realized that we were around the same age when adoption became a part of our lives. I learned that I was adopted when I was around four years old and my roommate was four when she came to the U.S. If I can recall that car ride home when my dad explained adoption to me, then her memory of being abandoned at the train station has to be permanently etched in her memory.

Heart and Seoul

Another trite title. Can't resist. They are too easy.

June 16, 1988: Part III

I meant to write about one of the most significant parts of our agency visit in my previous post. If we wanted to do so, we were able to read our personal file that contained our adoption paperwork. I believe that the policy for our particular agency is that the adoptee must be at least 17 years old before s/he can read their file. I'm not completely sure about this, and let me know if you know of anything different.

Many of us already knew our story and there wasn't any new, meaningful information. For the majority of adoptees on this trip, we were abandoned and our biological parents did not personally relinquish us to the agency and therefore, they were not present during the intake. That said, the details that might offer more about our early lives were nonexistent.

For a couple of people, they were able to learn more about their background than what they knew prior to the trip. Their biological families were present at the intake and their files had information that was meant to be confidential until the adoptee was old enough to request it. Such information contained names, ages, siblings and the circumstances under which they were placed for adoption.

I remember that one adoptee learned that his bio-parents stated in the file that they agreed to be contacted if their son ever requested. He found out that they lived in a rural area and wanted to meet them. The agency organized the visit to take place a few days later and along with an interpreter, he went to his Korean parents home.

On the day that he left to meet his bio-family, my roommates and I kept talking about him throughout the day. We were curious to know where he was, what was being said, etc.... He left early in the morning and didn't return until late at night. The day after his trip, he shared that his biological parents were quite a bit older and that he had siblings who were both older and younger than him. Of course, this was a lot to process and it was clear that it had a huge impact on him as he was quite self-reflective throughout the duration of the trip.

Il San

It might seem weird that I am posting a map to the Il San Costco. I wrote about Costco in my 1st post. I came across this when I was looking for images of Il San.

June 14, 1988 Con't.

Upon our arrival to Kimpo International Airport in Seoul, we were greeted by members of our agency. Not only was it overwhelming to be in Korea, but it was also quite rare to be with a group of individuals who shared a similar background. For the first time, I would take notice to last names of the members in my group. Fitzpatrick, Culkins and Page weren't exactly Korean surnames. I felt comfortable with the fact that I wouldn't have to explain how I ended up with the surname that I had.

After a group photograph, we left for Il San. By this time, it was probably 10:00 or so at night and none of us had much sleep. The adrenaline kept us going. Il San is a town north/northwest of Seoul. It is where our agency has a home for children with special needs and there were also quarters for guests. We spent several nights here.

Befriending a few people on one of the flights, I was able to get into a group of girls who would be my roommates for the entire trip. We were shown our room with the futon-like bedding and ended up talking late into the night. As cliche as it sounds, there was an instant bond and I looked forward to learning more about them and our motherland.

1988 and the 38th Parallel

For me, 1988 was a significant year. It was probably one of the most purposeful of my early adult life. 1988 was the year that I graduated from high school, the year that I went to college and the year that I returned to my motherland since I left almost 18 years earlier. I had no idea how meaningful and poignant this trip to Korea would be.

In June of 1988, I had the fortunate opportunity to go to Korea with other young adults from across the U.S. who were also Korean adoptees. We had all grown up outside of Korea and most of us knew little about the language, culture and people. For many of us, being Korean was having a Korean face and that was about the extent of it. In my graduating high school class, I believe that I was the only student of Korean descent out of a class that was a little less than 300 students. I didn't think about it much then, but I wasn't exactly a deep thinker either. Being one of the few Asians in my class proved to be a benefit 20 years later. Most people recognized me at a class reunion event.

I was not aware of it at the time, but I probably learned more about myself from living and traveling with other adoptees than I did from the actual tours of palaces, museums, etc.... By any means, I am not minimizing the value and historical lesson of visiting the cultural points of interest, however, there was a distinct benefit of meeting others who shared a similar background.

Fast forward to fall of 2007, my husband and I attended an annual picnic that is hosted by my adoption agency. Not only is this something that I like to attend every year, but it is also an event that I think that our daughter will enjoy. She is also an adoptee from the same agency in Korea.

Anyway, we met and talked with other families and eventually got into a conversation with another Korean adoptee who appeared to be my age. As our conversation progressed, we discovered that that we were on the same motherland tour in 1988. This might not seem like such a big deal. But, Debbie did not grow up in the midwest and moved to the area only a few years ago. It has been fun to reconnect with her and to get to know her family.

Adopting Mia, attending our agency picnics and seeing Debbie could not have been more obvious signs that the outline of this blog has already been done for me. I will re-trace the motherland tour of 1988. Since the purpose of this blog is to promote Korea and encourage travel to the Land of the Morning Calm, I think that my trip will be a good start. I will begin with 6/14/88 and end with 6/27/88.

June 14, 1988

My flight to Korea started early in the morning. I flew Northwest Airlines. Surprisingly, all connecting flights were on time. I flew from KC to Minneapolis, then to Seattle and finally to Seoul. I think that there were only 4 of us who flew out of Kansas City. I was the only one from the metropolitan area as the others came from places such as Oklahoma, central Missouri, etc... At each airport, we met other adoptees who would also be going to Korea. At the airport in Seattle, all of us came together and it was quite unbelievable.