An unforgettable story

Orphaned children in South Korea circa 2007
http://www.achildshopefoundation.org/img/korean_children.jpg

Previously, I wrote that one of the most meaningful lessons that I learned on the motherland tour of '88 was not to take for granted the fact that I was adopted as an infant. Many of the adoptees left Korea as children and had memories of the day of their abandonment. Some of the stories still resonate with me and I can't help but feel compassion for these individuals as these traumatic experiences will remain with them for the rest of their lives.

Nighttime seemed to be when we would have intimate conversations about our lives. We would stay up late sharing stories and often hypothesizing about what our lives might be like if we grew up in Korea. One of the stories that I will never forget was about the last day a fellow traveler had with her biological family.

I will call her Mary. Her story began when she was five years old. She recalled that her bio-parents told her that she and her younger sister, who was three, would go to a neat place where there would be lots of children and that they could play and play all day. Of course, this was appealing and she didn't think too much of it. Her bio-mother told her that she needed some things to take with her and then proceeded to put her clothes and her younger sister's clothes in a paper bag.

A little later that morning, her bio-parents told Mary and her sister that they were going to go for a long drive. This was odd as her parents didn't own a car, nevertheless, it seemed like it was going to be a fun and special day. Mary said that her parents were unusually quiet in the car. They arrived at a building and found many children playing outside. Her parents told her and her sister to go play and they did as they were told. Their parents told them goodbye.

When they were ready to go home, she and her sister began to question the adults at this building about their parents' return and they were told that they were not going to return. This was their new home. Mary realized that they were at an orphanage. Mary said that she and her sister sobbed for what seemed like many hours.

A few months passed with the hopes of their bio-parents' return. One day, the orphanage director told them that he had some special news for them. Of course, they thought that their bio-parents were coming to get them. The orphanage director informed them that they had a new family waiting for both Mary and her sister in the United States. They were going to leave the only country, culture and life that they knew for a new one in America.

Even though Mary seemed to be well adjusted at eighteen years old, I couldn't help but think that this memory of abandonment would haunt her for the rest of her life. Understanding that her bio-parents could not afford to give her and her sister the life that they wanted for them, she gradually accepted their decision. Furthermore, this was not a story about a single mother who would be shunned from her family and Korean society for having a child out of wedlock, but of a married couple who wanted more for their children.

This also sheds light on an interesting cultural difference between Korea and the U.S. From my observation and my opinion only, it seems that Korean parents who could not (or cannot) provide for their children see adoption as an opportunity for their children to have a "better life". Of course, I do not know of what type of assistance was provided back then, but I am guessing that there wasn't much financial support from the government. Additionally, a support system, either from the immediate family or society, for a single parent was non-existent

On the other hand, there are single parents and couples in the U.S. who raise their families with meager financial means or maybe government assistance in order to keep their families together. Yes, there are those American parents who have also placed their children for adoption with the hopes of providing a better life for them. However, it seems as if domestic adoption of infants in the U.S. is not common especially among Caucasian children.

So, regardless of domestic or international adoption, what is the better path for a child? This is a difficult and complex issue and every aspect of the child's future life needs to be examined. So, is it better to raise a child with limited resources and little support or to give another family with greater financial means and access to more resources the chance to raise the child? At least in Korea many years ago and even now, it seems as if the parent/s felt that putting their bio-child up for adoption was for the best. Even today, I wonder if Mary still believes that this was the best for her.

Touring Kyongju

Sokkuram Grotto
http://londonkoreanlinks.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/sokkuram.jpg

June 18, 1988

I mentioned in an earlier post that Kyongju was the capital of the Silla (Shilla) Kingdom and it is also a concentrated location of Korean Buddhist art. It is known as the "museum without walls" due to the many sites and artifacts that survived since the 9th century and UNESCO has listed Kyongju as a World Heritage Site.

We spent the morning touring palaces, tombs of nobility and temples. We also went to the outskirts of Kyongju to see the Sokkuram Grotto. This grotto was built along the side of a mountain in 751 and houses a Buddha that is visited by many every day.

After visiting these archaeological sites, we walked around an area of Kyongju and checked out the local businesses. Even in an area with great historical significance, I was curious about the shopping possibilities!

As I look back at my photos, I wish that I had taken more. Life before digital cameras was just not convenient. I hope to return someday. That afternoon, we headed to Pusan (or Busan).

Korea Times Article & Nature v. Nurture

A Korean/American flag hybrid http://images6.cafepress.com/product/225202066v3_350x350_Front.jpg

During our tour of Korea, a few common questions among us were "What would our lives be like if we grew up in Korea?" or "What would we be like?" Of course, one could speculate endless possibilities, but a mutual postulate at was the debate of nature v. nurture. We were all curious as to whether or not we would look the same, act the same or have the same likes and dislikes if we grew up in Korea.

So, this is why I decided to share a short article that I read a while back and rediscovered on a fellow adoptee's blog: homeiswithin.blogspot.com. After I initially read the article, I found it to be a superficial illustration of Korean adoptees and then, I wondered if it was a bit more telling of Korean culture, how success is measured and attitudes toward adoption.

Granted, this piece isn't based on extensive research or an academic analysis, but it does offer some exposure to what Korean adoptees have accomplished in the U.S. I found it curious that the first example of a successful adoptee is of a former Playboy model. In a culture that has been historically sexist, I shouldn't have been surprised that this adoptee's "accomplishment" was cited as a success story. Or, maybe it was to reveal that we are all individuals just like anyone else from any background and not just one giant homogenic cohort? Right. Oh, I definitely don't think that this woman (aka..Playboy model)was on my motherland tour. :)

Not only does one of the paragraphs lead off with "Surprisingly, many adoptees have become rather successful..," but the overall tone of the article expresses wonderment that these individuals have done well. If this is the case, does the article rudimentarily suggest that one's development is due more to nurture rather than nature? Furthermore, it doesn't even begin to address some of the hard issues that many adoptees have faced or the controversy that hovers over international adoption.

On a positive note, I do like that it emphasizes the benefit of living with a foster family. Maybe this was to encourage individuals to become foster parents in Korea as this was published by the Korea Times. Perhaps it was an attempt to shed some guilt that these adoptees have become productive individuals. Regardless, I truly believe that this is an invaluable component to the Korean adoption program and a testament of Korea's commitment to its orphaned children. I cannot agree more that the foster family program is an integral part of an adoptee's development as our adopted daughter and I are both products of this system.

Korean-American Adoptees Searching for Roots
2008.1.21Korean-American Adoptees Searching for Roots
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/special/2009/07/180_17715.html
By Jeremy Chew
Contributing Writer

LOS ANGELES ― A number of Koreans have been adopted into American families in the United States. Traditionally, from a cultural standpoint, Koreans rarely adopt children, even children of their own ethnicity. Apart from the war, many of these children come from significantly disadvantaged backgrounds: born into poverty or born out of wedlock.

Surprisingly, many adoptees have become rather successful. Some like Playboy model, Nicole Oring, have gained notoriety (a feat less likely had she grown up in a conservative Korean household). But for the most part, many continue to lead successful lives among Asian-Americans as the model minority.

David Camitta, a Wall Street investment banker at Merrill Lynch, attended the top universities: University of Illinois for his undergraduate degree and Columbia University for his masters in mathematics. Continuing his track record, David is well poised to rise to the ranks of vice president and managing director.

Although he was raised by Caucasians in Wisconsin, a state with less than 1 percent of Asians in its population, he managed to rediscover his roots while balancing work in a dominantly Caucasian workforce. Two years ago, he met his biological parents for the first time. It was certainly an emotional roller coaster ride.

Living in New York City, a city with its own ``Koreatown,'' Camitta is very involved with social activities. He is active in YKAM (Young Korean American Association) and receives tutoring from NYU students native to Korea so that he can converse with his siblings in Korea via the Internet.

One of his best friends, Jonathan Carfield a venture capitalist, is a fellow Korean adoptee and the two do not let their backgrounds hinder their progress. In fact, their non-Asian names may move them to the initial employment-screening phase that is often times racially discriminatory.

Korean adoptees continue to make their mark outside of business. Captain John Principe, who grew up in California, has also taken his foster parent's last name. After graduating from the University of California Berkeley in political science, John Principe joined the United States Army as a second lieutenant, a career path that many of his counterparts in Korea (serving two years of mandatory service) would gladly avoid. Currently, he is a captain in the Army's elite ranger battalion.

After serving several years in Iraq, Captain Principe recognizes that many Iraqi and Afghani children are displaced and the need for international humanitarian efforts to place those children is ever more important.

One result of the Korean War (1950-1953) was the existence of 100,000 homeless children. It could be said that the Korean War brought forth international recognition of Korean adoption practices.

The lives of Captain Principe, Camitta and Carfield underscore and reexamine the age old debate between Immanuel Kant and Konrad Lorez's idea of ``nature versus nurture.'' One thing is clear: that their lives are significantly changed because their foster families have welcomed them with open arms and considered them their own, providing them with immeasurable opportunities.

Getting to know my roommates

Hotel Concorde, Kyongju
http://cosmojin.com/photo/info/hotel_photo_204_1.jpg

June 17, 1988: Con't.

After leaving the Korean Folk Village, we headed to Kyongju (or Gyeongju) which is located in the southeastern part of the country. This is one of Korea's popular cities for tourists and was the capital of the Silla (or Shilla) Kingdom for over 1,000 years. That said, there are many historic buildings and temples to tour and this was on the itinerary for the following day. I was excited to visit other areas of Korea and looked forward to more sight seeing.

We arrived at Kyongju and checked into a hotel. In '88, it was the Kyongju Tokyuu Hotel and now it is the Concorde Hotel Kyongju (I think). We were just excited that we were in a new location and it seemed like it would be a good setting for socializing. By this time, we were together for a few days and started to feel more comfortable with each other.

After dinner, most of us went to check out the discotheque also known as the little smoke filled room with a dance floor. Even then, it seemed dated and a bit garish. That didn't stop us from checking out the locals and listening to American pop songs sung in Korean. I faintly remember a couple of Village People songs in Korean. Anway, the novelty wore off and my roommates and I decided that we wanted to leave.

The four of us returned to our two rooms and decided to hang out for a while. Our conversation started off with mundane topics and then, we began to question each other about our pre-adoption circumstances at a deeper level than any previous discussions. Naively, I thought that everyone had the same experience that I did.

Digress for a second. Being adopted as an infant, I didn't really have any major issues or certainly didn't have any memories of living in Korea. I only learned that I was adopted when I noticed that other kids at pre-school looked like their parents. On the way home one day from pre-school, I told my dad that the other kids looked like their mommies or daddies, and I wanted to know why I didn't. He said something to this effect, "Well, sometimes there are mommies and daddies who have babies and they might not be able to provide for their babies. They want them to have a better life than what they can offer, so they give their babies up for adoption." He continued to explain adoption and told me about Korea, etc.. It was an age-appropriate response that made sense to me. I will always remember this conversation.

So, back to June 17. Like I said earlier, I operated under the assumption that everyone was adopted as an infant and no one had any memories of living in Korea before their "new" lives in the U.S. Well, I was wrong.

One of my roommates began to tell her story with the fact that she was 4 when she was adopted. She said that her (bio)parents abandoned her and her younger sister at a train station in Seoul. (I have learned that this was a common scenario.) She remembers walking around while holding her sister's hand and crying out for her parents. She said that her sister had a dirty diaper and she didn't know what to do in addition to the fact that they were both extremely scared. After roaming around for a few hours, someone approached them and took them to a police officer. The police officer took her and her sister to the police station and they waited there for a long time. She said that she even remembers that a policeman gave them ice cream. The next thing that she recalled was that they were sent to a group living home or an orphanage. Luckily, they didn't live there for very long. A family from the Midwest adopted her and her sister.

I realized that we were around the same age when adoption became a part of our lives. I learned that I was adopted when I was around four years old and my roommate was four when she came to the U.S. If I can recall that car ride home when my dad explained adoption to me, then her memory of being abandoned at the train station has to be permanently etched in her memory.

Korean Folk Village

Farmers' Dance, Korean Folk Village
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/15/21117189_6d250d520b_o.jpg

June 17, 1988

Our next point of interest was the Korean Folk Village. We left Il San in the morning and drove about an hour or so outside of Seoul to this park. It opened in 1974 with the purpose to educate its visitors about Korean history and culture. It also serves as a venue to exhibit various forms of folk art. (I will compare it to Silver Dollar City sans the hillbilly touch.)

KFV is an impressive re-construction of Korea during the late Chosun period (1392-1894) when education emphasized loyalty, filial piety and Confucian ideology. You will see how the Koreans lived as their lifestyles are reproduced in the different exhibit houses. Performances by dancers and drummers might show a mask dance or paying homage for a bountiful crop. Other performances include ceremonies depicting events such as a wedding or even Shaman worship.

Throughout the park, you will find the houses of 30 folk villages that were relocated to create this outdoor museum. The villages typify the styles of housing found within the different regions of Korea. In addition, they reveal the inhabitants socio-economic status through their design and materials used to construct them.

We all seemed to enjoy the visit to KFV and it was a fun, multisensory and interactive way to learn about our heritage and its history. At that time, I'm sure that several of us had a limited background in Korean history, were clueless about the meaning of "filial piety" or had a comprehensive understanding of Confucianism and its infuence on Korean culture. Now, I'd like to return with my family and with a new appreciation. The visit to KFV had a long lasting effect as I still remember that day and it incited an interest in a culture that will never fade.

Secret Garden, Seoul Tower & Korea House

Secret (Biwon) Garden

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSHGCTdI-SkBp_6V7VaMd0OlgFZnfNDe7OWnT-wCPtyw9q92iQIjRRrkyqcC52pNphBxBneqk8APZSLtCO63ClhVXQFyzHOWFSqnc5xVb-5iTN3acWq_CG6UsMnGjM3wMocH8vfk1BQTo/s1600/cdg2.jpg

June 16, 1988: Part V

Our next stop after the Olympic Park was Changdeok Palace (also known as Changdeokgung Palace). This palace was finished in 1412 by King T'aejong and in 1463, the secret garden was added. Thirteen of Korea's kings lived at this location for a total of about 270 years. In 1592, the Japanese burned down several of the buildings which had to be rebuilt. This occurred several times. Now, thirteen original buildings still remain. Biwon (secret) garden has 28 buildings. This area of the palace was built so that the royal families had a quiet, scenic place to relax.

From Changdeok Palace, we jumped to the 20th century as we headed towards Seoul Tower. This is a communication tower that opened in 1980 and it is a common point of interest. At the top, you get a wonderful, panoramic view of the city.

The last stop of the day was Korea House. This was such a great way to end our first day in Seoul. Korea House is both a restaurant and theater. We ate a traditional Korean dinner and then saw the show of traditional dancers, drummers and other folk performances. Korea House is a place that all international tourists should visit.

June 16, 1988 was a day that gave us a look at both historical and contemporary Korean culture. Touring all of these places was amazing and I hope to be able to do it again someday. Moreover, it was especially meaningful to tour these locations with other adoptees. From the visit to our agency office to the Olympic Park and the Secret Garden, June 16 was a day not only to see and learn about Korea, but also one that enabled us to appreciate our heritage through a new perspective.

"Harmony and Progress"

World Peace Gate
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/World_Peace_Gate,_Olympic_Park,_Seoul.jpg

June 16, 1988: Part IV

While many of us were left with few details about our biological past, we theorized that we were born to single mothers and/or the economic conditions under which we were born were not sufficient to raise a child. Because the Korean War was the event that led to international adoption, it seemed rational to think that Korea was still trying to economically recover when we were born. Since most of us were now teenagers, it was hard to comprehend the economic growth that took place since the war, nor did we give it much thought.

With these notions, I had these really outdated, inaccurate visions of my motherland. I still imagined that Korea or even parts of Seoul would resemble scenes from the TV show M*A*S*H. Everything would be brown, dusty or camouflage green and tan. Although I knew that it wasn't going to be exactly what I envisioned, it was still surprising to see such a cosmopolitan city and to be able to tour the Olympic facilities that were built for the games that summer.

After leaving our agency office that morning, we headed towards the Olympic Park. Seoul was only the 2nd Asian city to host the summer Olympic games since Tokyo in 1964. What was remarkable was that only 35 years had passed since the end of the Korean War and now, Seoul was going to produce this magnificent event. When you consider other regions of the world that had to rebuild after a major conflict in the 20th century, Korea's post-war modernization is quite extraordinary. The motto of the Summer Olympics "Harmony and Progress" made perfect sense.

We toured the park and many of the competition facilities. It was quite impressive to see these places in person and I don't know if I would have taken an interest in the Olympics of 1988 if it weren't for this experience. The significance of this tour was not only to visit where history was going to take place, but it was also a reason to be proud of our motherland.

Now, the facilities are public venues for physical fitness and host concerts and other events. In addition, there is the Seoul Olympic Museum that houses commemorative items, sculptors and other artifacts from the summer of 1988.

Those Krazy Koreans

www.flickr.com/photos/toughkidcst/2661403864/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2008/jun/28/fivebest.festivals

Boryeong Mud Festival

I will continue with my re-tracing of my motherland tour in my next post. I found this and thought that it was worth sharing.

Some of you may already be aware of the Boreyong Mud Festival at Daecheon Beach (south of Seoul). This year, the festival took place on July 12. The mud at this beach is rich in minerals and is used for cosmetic products such as mud packs and soaps.

The mud festival includes mud wrestling, mud sliding and mud fireworks fantasy (not sure of what this is exactly). There are also giant mud tubs in which you can "romp around with your friends" ( http://www.mudfestival.or.kr/index.html).

I'm just interested in the claim that this mud improves the elasticity of your skin and sagging is prevented. It's time for me to check this out!

BTW, admission to this festival is FREE. :)

Heart and Seoul

Another trite title. Can't resist. They are too easy.

June 16, 1988: Part III

I meant to write about one of the most significant parts of our agency visit in my previous post. If we wanted to do so, we were able to read our personal file that contained our adoption paperwork. I believe that the policy for our particular agency is that the adoptee must be at least 17 years old before s/he can read their file. I'm not completely sure about this, and let me know if you know of anything different.

Many of us already knew our story and there wasn't any new, meaningful information. For the majority of adoptees on this trip, we were abandoned and our biological parents did not personally relinquish us to the agency and therefore, they were not present during the intake. That said, the details that might offer more about our early lives were nonexistent.

For a couple of people, they were able to learn more about their background than what they knew prior to the trip. Their biological families were present at the intake and their files had information that was meant to be confidential until the adoptee was old enough to request it. Such information contained names, ages, siblings and the circumstances under which they were placed for adoption.

I remember that one adoptee learned that his bio-parents stated in the file that they agreed to be contacted if their son ever requested. He found out that they lived in a rural area and wanted to meet them. The agency organized the visit to take place a few days later and along with an interpreter, he went to his Korean parents home.

On the day that he left to meet his bio-family, my roommates and I kept talking about him throughout the day. We were curious to know where he was, what was being said, etc.... He left early in the morning and didn't return until late at night. The day after his trip, he shared that his biological parents were quite a bit older and that he had siblings who were both older and younger than him. Of course, this was a lot to process and it was clear that it had a huge impact on him as he was quite self-reflective throughout the duration of the trip.

Seoul searching

June 16, 1988: Part II

OK, so the title of this post is trite and maybe it's not even appropriate. It was just easy.

The last part of our agency office visit was to tour what is called the reception center. This building is very close to the office and is a place where babies live where they wait to be placed with a foster family. Although nothing can replace a home environment, the children receive excellent care at the reception center. Fortunately, they usually do not live in the reception center for a long time.

In '88, not only were there babies, but there were also toddlers and young children. We were able to hold the babies and it was difficult not to pick up all of them! They were just so sweet and I wanted to bring them back to the U.S. with me. So did everyone else. I am going to assume that these babies were all adopted.

However, there were also toddlers and children up to the ages of 4-5. More than likely, these children were not relinquished as infants. A common scenario would be that the biological parents could not afford to provide for their children any longer and felt that placing them for adoption would give them a better life. Looking at their little faces made me think that at that age, I was already home.

I find it daunting to think about the separation from their birth parents as many were old enough to talk and to understand what was transpiring. At the same time, I can't imagine what the birth parents endured to make that decision and what it was like to say goodbye to their sons or daughters. We hoped that these little ones were matched with adoptive families as it is sometimes more difficult to place older children.

After meeting these sweet, innocent faces, we thought about their loss and how this could affect their emotional growth and development. For many members of the trip, seeing the little ones brought to mind their own past as they could remember their goodbye or the last time that they were with their bio-families.

Into Seoul

June 16, 1988
Part I

The first stop was to visit the agency office. This was where our paperwork was processed, where social workers matched us with our families and where many of us were relinquished. Needless to say, it would be significant for us all.

When we arrived, we were greeted by the entire staff. A few of the office staff and social workers had been with the agency for many years. Some had to have been there when many of us left. It's hard to imagine how a staff member must feel to see the "children" who left Korea many years ago and then to meet them as young adults, as Americans.

We toured the building and during the tour, we saw many foster mothers with their little ones. It was amazing to see these women caring for these children. It was and still is common for a foster family to have a baby from very soon after birth until departure to his/her new homeland. They are truly wonderful people and I can say that the foster mother of our daughter cared and loved her as if she was her own.

While we were in a waiting area, several of us noticed a few pregnant women. Someone asked an office staff person if these women would be placing their children with the agency for adoption. In fact, many of us just assumed that this was the case. The worker explained that these women were going to be adoptive mothers and they wore prosthetic stomachs to give the appearance of being pregnant. They had all sizes of "bellies" to show the different growth stages of pregnancy. Most likely, these women were coming in to exchange their belly for a larger model.

Whoa. We really weren't aware that this took place. It was explained that adoption in general was not socially accepted. If a couple wanted a child and couldn't conceive one on their own, then they would pursue adoption privately. Very privately. Usually, the husband and wife would not even share this with their own parents. So, we were told that when an adoptive couple was matched with a baby, the adoptive parents would tell their other family members that they were going to take a "vacation" or have some reason to go out of town. While on vacation, the mother allegedly went into labor and had the child. This allowed the couple to bring their adopted child home without raising any questions or suspicions. There are several reasons for this, but a major one was due to the family registry practice.

Under the Family Registry Law, a newly born child was registered to the family under the paternal side (Hoju system or head of the family system based on Confucian ideals). Adopted children had no rights under this practice. For many conservatives, adopted children would not be of the same bloodline and therefore, they would not be listed in the family registry. Since January 2008, a new law was put into place that changed the family registry to an individual registry. Not only was this to benefit an adopted child, but it was also designed to equalize the differences that existed between men and women under the old law.

Campaigns to promote adoption have blanketed the country within the last few years. Korea's birth rate was one of the lowest in the world (2006, South Korea's National Statistical Office) and has been on the decline since the 1970s. That said, the government realized that taking measures to increase domestic adoption would help maintain its population level. Moreover, Korea has always been forthcoming about their goal to eliminate foreign adoption and it seems that it might be close to reaching that goal in the near future.

June 15, 1988

This photograph was taken in the mid-1950s.

Our first full day in Korea was spent at Il San. This allowed us to help with the time adjustment and to get to know our fellow travelers. I was still amazed that I was in Korea and with Korean adoptees. I found myself wanting to know about each adoptee and their bio-history. I wondered if they had the same life that I did. In addition, I didn't know if I would be out-Koreaned by some of these folks. Could they speak Korean? I was trying to rely on my limited exposure to other people of Asian descent.

In 8th grade, there was a boy who wore a belt buckle with the name "Bobby" on it. He was Chinese. My adolescent mentality led me to believe that he wanted people to remind him that his American name was Bobby or maybe, he didn't want anyone to butcher the pronunciation of his Chinese name? I attended a high school that split after my sophomore year and there was a very nice girl who was Korean American. We only attended the same school for two years. I credit her for giving me my 1st taste of Korean food. She used to joke that her mother would bury jars of kimchi in their backyard. Naive, I imagined her mother outside with a shovel in the summer and retrieving jars of kimchi in the cold winter. Finally, the only other Asian American girl in my graduating class was Chinese American. She was taller and wore black eye liner. With this as my only social interaction with other Asian Americans, I was looking forward to getting to know these adoptees and hoping to learn much more from this new cohort.

Back to the tour. Our first morning was spent touring the residence at Il San. As I mentioned earlier, we were spending several nights here and this is where children who were not adopted for some reason, primarily due to their special needs, lived. Oh, there were also a few residents who did have families but were at this location in order to receive care.

I think that it is safe to say that it was shocking for us all to see these children and young people living in a group environment. At this point in my life, I never considered those who were not adopted. I assumed that any child who was relinquished to the Korean social services would be adopted and I was ignorant about those with special needs. My roommates and I later shared that we all quietly thought that one of those residents could have easily been one of us. Furthermore, many of us felt guilty that we were adopted and these children were not.

We got to see where they lived, attended school, received therapy, socialized and ate. I remember a teenage boy who was in a wheelchair and a caregiver was feeding him. I am guessing that he had cerebral palsy. I distinctly recall that we all grew silent upon meeting him. To think that we were adopted and had families while these children grew up in an institutionalized setting resonated with many of us throughout the trip.

One of the most meaningful parts of this day's tour was to visit the gravesite of the founder of our agency. He was an American who along with his wife adopted eight children who were fathered by American soldiers during the Korean War. From this, he saw a greater need and was commited to finding forever families for those Korean children who were abandoned. He died in 1964 and was buired at Il San. For many, he is known as the father of international adoption.

Il San

It might seem weird that I am posting a map to the Il San Costco. I wrote about Costco in my 1st post. I came across this when I was looking for images of Il San.

June 14, 1988 Con't.

Upon our arrival to Kimpo International Airport in Seoul, we were greeted by members of our agency. Not only was it overwhelming to be in Korea, but it was also quite rare to be with a group of individuals who shared a similar background. For the first time, I would take notice to last names of the members in my group. Fitzpatrick, Culkins and Page weren't exactly Korean surnames. I felt comfortable with the fact that I wouldn't have to explain how I ended up with the surname that I had.

After a group photograph, we left for Il San. By this time, it was probably 10:00 or so at night and none of us had much sleep. The adrenaline kept us going. Il San is a town north/northwest of Seoul. It is where our agency has a home for children with special needs and there were also quarters for guests. We spent several nights here.

Befriending a few people on one of the flights, I was able to get into a group of girls who would be my roommates for the entire trip. We were shown our room with the futon-like bedding and ended up talking late into the night. As cliche as it sounds, there was an instant bond and I looked forward to learning more about them and our motherland.

1988 and the 38th Parallel

For me, 1988 was a significant year. It was probably one of the most purposeful of my early adult life. 1988 was the year that I graduated from high school, the year that I went to college and the year that I returned to my motherland since I left almost 18 years earlier. I had no idea how meaningful and poignant this trip to Korea would be.

In June of 1988, I had the fortunate opportunity to go to Korea with other young adults from across the U.S. who were also Korean adoptees. We had all grown up outside of Korea and most of us knew little about the language, culture and people. For many of us, being Korean was having a Korean face and that was about the extent of it. In my graduating high school class, I believe that I was the only student of Korean descent out of a class that was a little less than 300 students. I didn't think about it much then, but I wasn't exactly a deep thinker either. Being one of the few Asians in my class proved to be a benefit 20 years later. Most people recognized me at a class reunion event.

I was not aware of it at the time, but I probably learned more about myself from living and traveling with other adoptees than I did from the actual tours of palaces, museums, etc.... By any means, I am not minimizing the value and historical lesson of visiting the cultural points of interest, however, there was a distinct benefit of meeting others who shared a similar background.

Fast forward to fall of 2007, my husband and I attended an annual picnic that is hosted by my adoption agency. Not only is this something that I like to attend every year, but it is also an event that I think that our daughter will enjoy. She is also an adoptee from the same agency in Korea.

Anyway, we met and talked with other families and eventually got into a conversation with another Korean adoptee who appeared to be my age. As our conversation progressed, we discovered that that we were on the same motherland tour in 1988. This might not seem like such a big deal. But, Debbie did not grow up in the midwest and moved to the area only a few years ago. It has been fun to reconnect with her and to get to know her family.

Adopting Mia, attending our agency picnics and seeing Debbie could not have been more obvious signs that the outline of this blog has already been done for me. I will re-trace the motherland tour of 1988. Since the purpose of this blog is to promote Korea and encourage travel to the Land of the Morning Calm, I think that my trip will be a good start. I will begin with 6/14/88 and end with 6/27/88.

June 14, 1988

My flight to Korea started early in the morning. I flew Northwest Airlines. Surprisingly, all connecting flights were on time. I flew from KC to Minneapolis, then to Seattle and finally to Seoul. I think that there were only 4 of us who flew out of Kansas City. I was the only one from the metropolitan area as the others came from places such as Oklahoma, central Missouri, etc... At each airport, we met other adoptees who would also be going to Korea. At the airport in Seattle, all of us came together and it was quite unbelievable.

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One of my favorite things: Korean food

A large part of any culture is food and this is one of my FAVORITE topics. I see Korean food through a very specific lens. My perspective is one of an American who happens to be of Korean descent and has a limited experience with Korean cuisine. However, I have eaten Korean food many, many times both in the U.S. and in Korea. That said, I will attempt to describe what Korean food is for me right now.

Many people have asked me to describe Korean food. Is it like Chinese? Is it like Japanese? Is there canine consumption? Well, for the person who has never had Korean food, I often try to relate it to Chinese and Japanese but only to a certain degree. Rice of course is a staple and there are many differences between Korean and other Asian foods. One of the most common elements to Korean food throughout the country is kimchi. I happen to love it and it may require one to acquire a taste for it. It is pickled cabbage that has been fermented with red peppers, garlic and other seasonings. It is served as a side dish and there are several types other than cabbage. An Altoid is strongly suggested after eating kimchi.




In addition, another common food and a good start for the novice is bulgolgi. It is a marinated beef dish that is grilled and served with rice and all of the other pickled side dishes. What is nice about bulgolgi is that it's easy on the American palate and if you are an American in Seoul, Bulgolgi Brothers is a good place to start. I was told that this restaurant was a good introduction to Korean food and I can see why as my husband & I ate there in '08. If you are going to Korea, it would probably be good to try Korean food before you get there. Moreover, bulgolgi is just a tasty, reliable standard.

One of my favorite shows to watch is "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain. No other food/travel person has the witty, at time cutting and cynical narrative as AB. A show aired last year of him in Korea and this segment shows him at a Tae Kwon Do class and at a Kimchi "factory". It is amazing that these women do this by hand and they are so meticulous. Andrew Zimmern also did a show (Bizarre Foods) on Korea and visited a kimchi production line. Whether or not it was made by some Korean women or in a line, kimchi is good eats. Well, maybe it is better when the Korean women make it.



So, for me, Korean food has been a means of connecting with my heritage. Hopefully, my daughter will like it too. Actually, I don't foresee this as a problem because she hasn't really encountered anything that she doesn't like. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the Korean restaurants where I like to go in my area: Cho Sun and Cho Ga.

Oh, one last item. A few months ago, I heard a segment on NPR about a very popular taco truck (Kogi) in Los Angeles that sells hybrids of Mexican/Korean fare. This concept is so creative and it sounds like the flavors blend well. I want to try the Korean quesadilla and tacos. It just hit me that Kogi and I have something in common. We share Korean and Latin American influences as I am a Korean Spanish teacher. To see the expression on my students' faces when the enter my room on the first day of school is priceless as they are totally puzzled to have a Korean Spanish teacher with an anglo last name. One kid even told me that he didn't know that Spanish was spoken in China and I've been asked if my family owns a nail salon or dry cleaners.

To begin: Costco

As I begin this blog to reconcile my Korean heritage with my American culture, I came up with some ideas of how to bridge the two. After sifting through a few ideas on paper, I glanced to the right of my legal pad and saw my Costco coupons. After realizing that I only had another day or two to use my coupons, it hit me. Costco in Korea. This is the epiphany. It isn't any deep, meaningful, introspective look at my internal struggles. It's rather shallow. I now know how to begin this blog. Costco and its products seem to be almost as ubiquitous as any other American brand and certainly it's a staple in my world. Now, it's in my Korean one as well.

What better way to show an interconnection between American and Korean cultures or rather a result of globalization? Brand recognition, capitalism and consumerism can be seen by some as chiefly American exports that have built the global market as we know it today. Depending on how you view globalization, you may recoil at the thought of Costco in a country rich in cultural tradition and history. Or, you may be put at ease that the Korean people now have a venue to purchase gigantic jars of mayonaise.

I find it intriguing and a little sardonic at the same time. Can the Costco business model and the push to buy in bulk when not necessary be a reasonable, practical model for Asian consumers as it isn't exactly essential for Americans? As Americans, we know that we have succumbed to the "bigger is better" and "you get more for your money (when you buy bulk)" marketing. Yes, of course, you will get more for less when you purchase in large quantities, but it seems bizarre that Costco is now operating in countries such as Korea and Japan. In densely populated cities like Seoul or any other large city for that matter where square footage is at a premium, finding storage space for such items would be challenging.

The country known as "the land of the morning calm" (and my motherland) is now host to an American wholesale club. Don't get me wrong, I buy in bulk and am a sucker for good marketing. I just never imagined that there would be such a business venture in Korea. After learning that there was a Costco in my homeland, I found it to be a little unsettling that this big box retailer has descended on my mother country. The days of ox carts and M*A*S*H are long gone.

So, this brings me to think that there is something about Korean culture that I want to learn. What makes Costco appealing to the Korean people? Do Koreans purchase with the same power, attitudes and motives as Americans?

I remembered a youtube segment that showed a young American couple who was elated to visit Costco in Korea. Yes, this is it. This is the start of my blog.